


God of Just Deserts

by Valdyr



Series: Tricksy, Mighty, Love of Sam [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Childish Lucifer, F/M, Gabriel ships Destiel, Gabriel the Strength of God, Heaven, Loss of Grace, M/M, Trickster powers, and so does Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:58:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valdyr/pseuds/Valdyr
Summary: Gabriel has become the Might of God and sets out to stop the apocalypse, teach the angels a lesson and just put everything right. But he is still Gabriel.





	1. Adelle & Roofiel

Dean was exhilarated. They could stop Lucifer now. Except...

"Nah, later."

"What? The devil walks the earth! We gotta-"

"Yeah, sure, but later."

"What, you got any more pressing issues than the freaking devil?!"

"Yup."

"...? Then freaking TELL ME BEFORE I-"

"Dean! No fighting please. And where is you sense for self-preservation? He is the _Might of God_ now. Gabe? What's the plan?"

Gabriel smiled at his little diplomat like the sun. It was so funny watching him go from giving Dean his best bitchface straight to the puppy eyes for the archangel. But there was no resisting the puppy eyes. Not even for a super-powered primordial creature like himself. So he sighed, mourning his lost chance to tease the living daylights out of Dean and admitted:

"We have to go after Michael first. Lucifer won't recall his armies before Michael is taken down, he knows it'd be suicide for him. So the plan is: First taking Mickie out of the equation, second rearranging the heavens, third getting Luci to call off his demons and especially those horsemen, fourth getting Luci some anger managment therapy and a place to stay and fifth we celebrate the not-ending of our world. Sounds good?"

"Umm... I thought we were going to throw the devil back into his cage?"

"Hell no. He's my brother! And far more pleasant company than Mister Huge-stick-up-his-feathery-ass Michael. Always was. The cage may have seemed like a necessary evil yesterday, but now I can keep his temper in check without it, so I'm going without."

"Okay?"

"You don't sound convinced, sweetie. Don't be sour, you know I like my candy sweet."

"I-I'm not your candy."

"You're eye-candy for sure. That and I wanna eat you."

"...Gabriel, I know that you're-"

"Not pressuring you, Sammy. At least I hope not. You can always say no; you know that, right? Consent is a thing for angels, remember? I was always far more powerful than you, but I would never use that against you. You do know that, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I didn... I would never think you capable of that. You're not like that. It's just... You always treat it like a fact, when we've never even talked about it."

"Okay, talking: I want you. In every way until the end of time. You?"

"I-"

"DUDE!"

Both jerked around to look at Dean, who was beet red and heaving.

"I do NOT need to hear that! How about we talk some more about the apocalypse?!"

"Alright, Deanieling. Mission Michael. How about we move this to an open field?"

And with a snap of his fingers, Gabriel had already transported them onto some nameless piece of ground in the middle of nowhere. Dean retched, he hated travelling by angel. But Gabriel already got to work under Sam's watchful eyes. Using his trickster powers, enhanced through his angelic grace, he fashioned a body. It was that of a young woman, maybe in her early twenties, with soft brown hair and green eyes and freckles and everything.

He also fashioned some moderate clothes for her, not what his artificial bedwarmers usually wore. Then he let her come into awareness. Her mind was scant at best, but it would be enough. At last he teleported some of Dean's blood straight from his veins into hers and tweaked her genetic profile for a bit before letting it settle throughout her body. He needed a strong body, lest it fell apart around her charge.

"Voilà!"

"And what are we looking at exactly?", asked Sam in open curiosity, whereas Dean was just his usual level of pissed: "How is that going to help us gank Michael?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes with a sigh and reminded Dean through clenched jaws that no-one was going to be 'ganking' any of his brothers. Then he told them to just shut up for the next part and called to the sky and through angel radio:

"Mikey!!! Hey there! Remember me?! I got your true vessel, so drag your old ass down here in that substitute and hear my terms! And don't you dare bring any of your goons or I'm gone before you can say 'shake ya tail feathers' and you know I'm faster. Understood? Then come here! NOW!"

The Winchesters might have been staring at him in shock for a minute or five, but then Michael appeared in the body of their half-brother and Gabriel instantly grinned like the cat that got the cream:

"Hey, bro."

"Gabriel. It is good to see you again. We thought you dead... But I always knew that you would remember your duty when the time came, thank you for bringing me my true vessel. This one can hold me, but... it is not the dutiful older brother of Lucifer's vessel. I will much rather take the right one, if it is available."

"Yeah, you were never that great at listening when someone other than daddy was talking, ain't that right?"

"...Gabriel, just hand me my vessel. We can deal with your antics after I have killed our brother as father ordered me to."

"Nah, I can't agree with you on that. It would kill a lot of humans, you know?"

"I am aware. But my orders are conclusive."

"Are they? You see _I_ seem to remember that you were also ordered to love the humans more than dad. We all were."

"And I bowed to them."

"That's not the same as loving them. You see: Lucifer hates them. But _you_... You are just cold. You're indifferent to them. That's loveless and thus wrong. You will learn to love them. I will make sure it."

"Brother, you can't make me do anything. I _will_ kill Lucifer for our father and after that you shall face judgement for your own heresy."

"Sorry, bro. But that's not how it goes. Not anymore. Now leave Adam and take the body without a soul for you to slowly burn."

Michael seemed perplexed at that. He could see that the mentioned body would be able to hold him for a while, but that was not what Gabriel had offered him in his call. And it was not at all sufficient. He needed a soul for power when he fought Lucifer. But Gabriel looked serious. He meant it? Michael scoffed and he caught a tiny sad smile on Gabriel's face a moment before flames roared up between them and he found himself in a circle of holy fire.

Even the humans were surprised at its sudden appearance, all except for the soulless female who was in the circle with him. She took the ignition as her cue to say:

"Yes, I consent and welcome you within."

Well, he was not leaving. But then Gabriel handed Lucifer's vessel a piece of paper and said:

"Pray to me, when he's out. But do shield your eyes before that point. Good luck now, boys."

And with that, Gabriel was gone. And now Michael got a really bad feeling. Then the vessels hid their eyes and Sam started to chant Enochian words that made his blood run cold. An excorcism. But for angels. And a really powerful one, too. But it wouldn't send him back to heaven, it would just eject him from his vessel and block the re-entry for a few hours. Gabriel had given the humans an angel-exorcism?! How could he!

But those thoughts flew from his mind when the exorcism started to pull at him, drawing him out. He fought to stay and keep his vessel, but as the chant completed he was jerked out like a hooked fish from the water. And the earth air was not good to him, but he couldn't leave. When the tried to flee upwards, the flames closed over him like a dome. There was no escaping a cage of holy fire. Not until it was worn down.

But even with his powers that could take a good ten minutes and Sam was already calling for Gabriel. ...But what would he do? He couldn't force him into the other body. To touch him at all, he would have to extinguish the fire and Michael was still far far stronger than him. What could Gabriel possibly do?

Well, first he reappeared. And then he stepped close and he actually extinguished the holy fire. Michael was shocked at the suicidal act. But then he was shocked more. Gabriel dropped his facade and spread his wings. But not the six Michael knew. Gabriel spread twelve huge wings to form a dome of power in the fire's stead. And then he pressed. Michael couldn't believe it. He was overpowered!

Gabriel forced him down and towards the artificial body. But Michael had no interest in entering it. He wanted Adam at least. He sent waves of powers outwards, but he did not even have a vessel to channel his might, much less a match for Gabriel's. However did he get this powerful? Oh, no. What if he was working with Lucifer and the monster had decided to sneak out of their duel, cheating to win?

He was right over the girl now and Gabriel's wings kept pressing down like the walls of a car compactor. He couldn't get out and he couldn't stay. Gabriel himself was approaching, archangel blade held high. Michael was out of options. If we wanted to live for the duel, he had to take the lesser vessel or he would be in no state to fight anymore. So he did just what Gabriel had told him.

"Great! Thanks for your cooperation, bro. Or should I call you sis now?"

The pressure was gone, but Michael was still encaged in Gabriel's raised wings and his new vessel had no soul to fuel his powers as his brother's. And he had no idea where Gabriel was going with this. Why couldn't he just do as their father had told them?

"You chose a female form for me."

"That I did. Call it recompense. For Adam. Remember Adam, Michael? Or wait! Michael sounds inappropriate now... How about Michelle? Yeah, that's more like it. Now, remember Adam? Adam Milligan? Ring any bell? Any at all?"

"The substitute vessel."

"Yeah, but he's also a person and a brother and everything. A human. The kind that you're supposed to love. Even more than dad. And yet you used him like a prop in an action flick, leaving him smoking and hollow in your wake. Not very lovey-dovey. But that changes now. I understand that you'll have a hard time loving a short-lived little mammal when you look down at it from heaven. So I'll give you a new perspective. Like... the mirror."

And within the blink of an eye, Gabriel slit the blade across Michael's throat. Michael gasped in shock and his (her) hands flew up, but Gabriel was faster, grabbing the bright white tendril leaking from the cut and ripping it out. Michael was frozen in disbelief and shock, much like the humans, but Gabriel just proceeded to stuff the Archangel's grace into a little crystal phial and hang it around his neck, before healing the cut, thinking for a moment and snapping his fingers.

Adam woke with a start and Gabriel pulled the confused boy up before handing him a bag he had just pulled from thin air. The younger vessel looked around in confusion, seeking support in the equally confused faces of his half-brothers, but then Gabriel let his eyes glow and got the boy's attention:

"What the- Michael?"

"Nopey, I'm Gabriel. Michael is that one over there with the nice rack. And you, A-dame, are officially rescued. The apocalypse is aborted and we all wish you a nice life. But I would ask something of you, if you're not too busy. Take care of my sis, would you? I got you ten grand and all the necessary papers for your new lives as Adam and Michelle Winchester in here for that purpose, no need to explain your death a couple years ago or who the heck she is. Alright?"

Adam was not really processing what the hell was happening, so Sam and Dean took over trying to explain that he got the chance to start over, while 'Michelle' had a heated discussion with Gabriel while he whisked golden rings on their fingers. But the once strongest of archangels quieted abruptly, when Gabriel explained his powers with:

"What can I say, sis, daddy wasn't happy with your disregard for his new favorites. So he gave me latitude 'n' reinforcement. Try to understand them before you die of age, okay? Who knows, you might even fall in love."

Adam was not so easily acquainted with his new situation, but he was finally back in control over his own body, he no longer had to deal with any matters of the apocalypse, meaning his life was his own again now as well, and a breathtakingly beautiful girl relied on his guidance through an unfamiliar world. Add her understanding of duty to their Gabriel-imposed marriage and: His teenage dream come true. Now he just had to get away from his half-brothers before they decided to turn his world upside down again.

And thus the Winchesters got rid of the threat of Michael, by watching Adam and Michelle - Adelle, as Gabriel had taken to calling them - walk off into the proverbial sunset together.

 

But Michael's cause still had the God squad for support, so Gabriel had to go where he had not been in many centuries' time. Heaven. And he got quite the welcome. Though that might have something to do with his announcing through angel radio that the Herald of God was coming home with news.

And how avidly they stood at attention. Even Raphael, despite the doubt on his face concerning orders allegedly from God. So Gabriel went all dramatic, his wings still hidden away, but his arms wide open as he proclaimed:

"I have come to tell you all, my brothers and sisters, that our father is... extremely... ... ... disappointed in you!"

And their faces fell like stones. They had expected hope, new orders, a date for his return, anything but that.

"Oh, and the apocalypse is officially aborted now."

"No."

Everyone looked to Raphael now and someone in the crowd gasped: "You would refuse our father's word?"

"Never, but I doubt our brother's. You were always so tight with Lucifer. How do we know you're not distracting us to help him?"

The masses were confused now, in doubt, uncertain whom to believe, but Gabriel just sighed dramatically and whipped his wings out abruptly. Mainly for effect. To see Raphael's gobsmacked face. Then he supported his smug smile by shifting his clothes to reveal the phial with Michael's grace.

"Like this, Roophiel. And once you're done boring us all to sleep with your rusty old ways, tell me one thing: What's it like? Getting you head twirled around by daddy to forget about our meeting?"

"To for... Brother?"

"We both met him, brother, but he didn't trust you enough to let you remember how to find him again. What does that feel like?"

It hurt, he knew, but he needed to let Raphael wallow in it for a moment. He had not become a trickster dealing just deserts without a reason. Yes, he had a vindictive streak. And such blockheadedness as Raphael showed it had cost him his beloved family, so he wanted - needed - this bit of revenge. That and a little heartbreak was the perfect pathway to human emotions.

But he also wanted to return to Sam as soon as possible, so payback had to be cut short and the real deal had to come:

"Thing is, dad's most important order was to love the humans, not just bow, but truly love. So that's what you'll do. And to accomplish that, you will spend time with them, get to know them, _learn_ to love them. We were never meant to live in heaven; This is our nest, but we are not chicks anymore. We are supposed to be out there! To serve his dearest creation! The humans. So you all will go down to earth, you will ask to be allowed into priests and nuns and shamans and doctors and you will _listen_ to their prayers. And when you hear them beg us for help, obey. When they forget their pride for love, feel what they feel and reward it! Learn to love them, boys and girls, or you never see heaven again."

And when their faces turned to fear, he made clear that he meant it:

"Your negligence has good people turning to crossroads demons to heal their loved ones from diseases, good people going to hell for the purity of their martyr hearts! Answer their prayers, get to know them and learn to appreciate them. Until you do, you are all banished from heaven for your disobediance regarding God's highest order. When you reach the point, where you don't need to go home to be happy anymore, where you would miss what you have on earth, contact me via angel radio and I will give you the okay to travel between heaven and earth again. Until then, you are not allowed up here. Now go. All of you, get OUT!"

And with the skittish fluttering of hundreds of wings, the angels left their nest in heaven and turned to earth. Gabriel looked around with a pang of longing. He had missed his home. But he didn't even think about staying. Home was where his family, that he loved, lived in harmony. And this was not that home. Just heaven.

So he turned back to earth to save the new home he had found among humans. And next on the list to deal with for that: Lucifer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I got the characters somewhat right. But a second opinion is always welcome! Or five!


	2. Luci, I'm home

"Soooo, Lucifer?"

"Yes, Deanosaurus, we can tend to Lucifer next."

"Good. 'Cause we still got the devil running wild out there and killing people."

"I know that, too. I just need to figure out how to find him."

"Why? Don't you-"

"What? Know where he is? No, how would I?"

"I don't know, maybe with some of that superangel-mojo you got?!"

"Hey! It's arche, plural archai."

"What?"

"Arche. That's the one one up in the order. Standard angel, archangel, arche."

"The name? That's what you're obsessing about?!"

"Guuuuys, pleeease! Could you just not fight? Just for one day?"

"Sorry, Samorry. It's just too easy when he's so tense on sexy frustration."

"I am _not_ sexually frustrated. I get laid. A lot. Anytime I want."

"Sorry, kiddo, but substitutes don't count."

"Substi-?"

"Guys, really! So you can't find Lucifer?"

"Nope."

"What's wrong with the mojo?! I mean if you can't even find the damn devil, what are you good f-"

"Dean! Seriously, do I need to keep you separated? What is wrong between you..."

"Oh, I don't know, might be that he killed me like a hundred times? Or that he's constantly talking about banging my baby brother?! Or that he-"

"Is helping us to stop the apocalypse?"

"Evidently not."

"I _am_ helping, I just need to figure out how to find Lucifer. Because that has nothing to do with my strength. He's far stronger than you, but can't find you, either. And he's... The problem is that he is warned. He knows that you have me on your side, so he'll be cautious. If not, we could get him to come to us with ease. Sam would just have to pray and he'd fly by at once. But since I had to reveal my allegiance to pull you out of the Elysian Fields, we don't have that option anymore."

"...Why not?", Sam got curious "Just calling worked for Michael, didn't it? So why not just call Lucifer and offer me up? He still wants me."

"Yeah, but Lucifer is not Michael. Michael was easy, he's just an idiot with big guns. But Lucifer? He's the _brighest_ of all angels. The brighest mind. Or at least he was back in the day. But even after the isolation of the cage, he won't walk into a trap. And he knows it'd be a trap. He knows you have an archangel. He won't just step into a circle of holy fire."

"So how do we get him?"

"I really just don't know. He's too clever. We'd have to... we'd have to somehow make him forget his caution, we'd have to cloud his mind... Oooh. Oh. Yes! We'll incur his wrath! He can't think straight when he's out of his mind with rage!"

"Uuhhhm. Incurring the wrath of the devil is a good idea?"

"Sure! Well, we won't have it directed at us, of course. We need someone to make him mad. Really mad."

"Okaaay. And do you have anyone in mind for that? Or know how to make him even madder than he already is? I mean, he is trying to exterminate our species."

"Yeah, but that's just seething. Cold hatred. We need a sudden outburst of anger. We need an ignition of ire. We need... we need... Sorry, got nothing."

"Well, I guess we can still try the praying, right?"

"It won't work, but sure, try."

They did. In an open field again. But nothing happened. Nobody came. Not close at least. Gabriel spotted a little group of demons in the distance, which instantly disappeared again. But that was it. Of course, Lucifer didn't come. He had heard the prayer, but rather than coming himself and risking stepping into a trap, he had sent demons to scout the area of the prayer's origin for him. A whole group of them, in case they were attacked, some killed or trapped, so at least someone would be able to return to him and give a report on their findings. Lucifer _was_ the clever one.

 

Lacking any ideas for the big boss, they decided to track down his horsemen first. To at least minimize the damage while they thought about how to find the devil. So they got back around to tracking Pestilence and now Gabriel came in handy once more. He flew across the entire country looking for accumulations of demons. It took him one day.

When Dean once again questioned him, Gabriel just snorted that the devil couldn't be found that way, because he hated demons even more than humans and would not gather any more than necessary around himself. And if they tried to flock to him anyway, he would remind them to listen when he ordered distance. With emphasis of the degree 'lethal'.

But there were gatherings of demons, two of interest: One at the office of a medical company and one at some other kind of medical center that Gabriel hadn't bothered to learn the name of. He knew the coordinates and that was enough for him. Since there were two places to investigate and they didn't want one to be warned and vacated upon arrival if they were spotted investigating the other, they decided to split up.

Gabriel thought to have glimpsed a familiar face he had seen when in Sam's head at the office, so he deposited the brothers close to the other location and took the office himself. It proved to be the right decision, when he found Sam's best friend in college to be a demon. Well, that one was not seeing Sammy ever again. Or anyone, for that matter. With that, he was done and decided to check up on the Winchesters.

He didn't enter, though. He just waited outside. Chances were that Pestilence was in there and if that was the case, then he should leave it to them. He just had to be patient. And wait. And wait. And wait. Suddenly he heard something. Prayer. Sam was calling out to him for help. It tugged on his heartstrings, but he had to take another course. So he went in in secret and approached the first demon he saw.

She gasped in fear at his sight and made to flee, but he held his hands up a gesture of peace, a gentle smile on his face:

"Don't fear me, dove. I won't hurt you, I just came for the show."

"T-the show? What show?"

"What show?! The devil's rage, of course! I can hear Pestilence taking apart the Winchesters upstairs."

"Yes, they killed his brothers."

"So? They are still the Winchesters. Sam Winchester. You don't actually believe that your daddy will be merciful when he hears that you all just stood by while one of his horsemen went against his express orders and messed with _his true vessel_? The one he's been wooing for his consent? Oh, no, honey. He won't care what his vessel has done. He will go full archangel on the apostate. And all his companions in crime. ...Wait, are you condoning this betrayal against your father or have you informed him already?"

And he could see the panic in the demon's face. Yes, Pestilence was going against the devil with this. For personal revenge. But Sam Winchester was personal for Lucifer, too. He was the one thing in all of creation that God had ever made specifically for him. And if one of his own servants messed with that one special gift...

The demon disappeared at once and Gabriel went back outside for cover. On his way he ran into Cas, neither of which had expected the other. But Cas wanted to help the Winchesters, so Gabe dragged him out, assuring him that he had a plan. They had a plan. And yes, it was hard for him, too, hearing Sam beg for his help and resisting the prayer. But it was the only way. Lucifer cared about barely anything anymore and only that could get him emotional enough to forget his caution.

No matter how hard it was and how it tore him apart, but this was necessary to achieve their goal. He had to endure it, while the brothers crawled on the ground, sick with... something. Most likely several somethings. But Gabe didn't answer. And Cas wasn't there yet, either. Pestilence had even barked a demon out again. He wanted revenge. And he was getting it. And they were starting to fade...

Suddenly lighting struck and thunder roared and the room began to shake. Pestilence's face, that had shown malicious glee just a moment ago, was suddenly frozen with dread. And then there was an icy, eeriely familiar voice:

"How. Dare. you?  My vessel? My true vessel? The ONE thing I warned you NOT to touch?! And you SICKEN HIM?!!!"

"M-My lord, they killed my b-"

"You think I care?! Undo it right NOW!!!"

Pestilence hurried to cleanse his aura and their bodies of any and all sickness, cowering before the fallen archangel and asking for understanding, while the demons all around tried to distance themselves from him and show that they did not condone his crime. They were so predictable. Such idiots. The devil didn't care, he was just enraged. Pestilence's screams were heard far and wide and all other demons in the building died screaming, too.

At last, Lucifer turned to Sam to see his weakened and weary vessel shying away from him. But then Sam's gaze redirected and Lucifer understood. Just a moment before Gabriel hit him in the head with six wings, knocking him out cold.

 

He had already apologized to Sam a thousand times for not coming to his aid, but Sam understood and forgave him. They did have the devil now. Only Dean was not inclined to forgive his refusal to help them, but now he had Cas to talk to and vent at. So now he mostly left Gabriel alone, while that one proved himself a true artist. Sam watched him for hours as he worked on the new vessel for Lucifer.

It was male this time, but even younger-looking than the one for Michael. Maybe fifteen, if it were a human? And the boy possessed an etheral beauty. His skin was white as snow and almost glowing, his pale blue eyes like the skies and his hair purest gold. But even when the vessel seemed done, Gabriel kept working on it, it's head. He was not to be disturbed by anyone for that and Sam wondered what unseen details could be so very vital.

But finally he deemed his work completed. And just in time, too. The devil was waking up again, so they rushed a circle of holy fire around him and the vessel and thus he was wide awake. Cas noticed, too, and he and Dean joined the others, while Lucifer looked around himself and inspected the body, which instantly gave verbal consent. That had the devil looking to Gabriel in question and receiving an answer in a tone meant to be strong, while everyone heard how affected Gabriel was by their confrontation, remembering the last:

"Will you put up a fight or just hop in?"

They all expected a fight, of course. Like with Michael. But Lucifer just looked down at his disintegrating vessel and walked over to the offer. Gabriel surprisedly signaled for the humans to cover their eyes and once they did, not a second earlier or a moment of hesitation later, the devil left his failing, but human vessel and took the soulless offer. Once in there, he stretched and moved a bit, finding the form appropriate.

Dean thought it a bit strange after Gabriel had made Michael a chick, but whatever:

"So? You gonna take his grace now?"

Lucifer looked up in shock, but Gabriel just sighed:

"No, genius, I'm not making the brother of mine with the most enemies as weak as a human."

"But you can't let him run around like that, either! That's the devil we're talking about! You have to-"

"I don't have to do anything! I do what I want and I want him to live. But I will protect the humans from him. And this will be least problematic, if you could agree to behave, brother. Don't worry, Michael can't come after you anymore."

"...Because you took his grace? As Dean Winchester assumed that you would take mine?"

"Yes. You're safe. And the apocalypse is aborted as far as heaven is concerned."

"How?"

"Which?"

"How did _you_ overpower _Michael_? And me... And how did you reign in heaven? And how do you think you could possibly make me 'behave'?"

"Oh, that's easy. I'm stronger now and you're weakened. Well, limited anyway. Without a soul-"

"I could still devastate entire cities."

"As I was just saying: Without a soul and with that little tweak to your vessel's brain. 'Cause it may be just a body to you. But all you do it channelled through it. So it is a tool just as much as it is a frame. You can't go past it on earth."

Now the others were puzzled, while the devil instantly needed to know what was wrong with his vessel. He knew that it was artifical, but what had Gabriel changed from a normal human body?

"It's just an added gland, Luci. Triggered by aggression. Neurology is really complicated, but also fascinating. Humans are not all dumb, you know."

"A gland? What does it produce? Gabriel, what?!"

"TTX."

The humans were none the wiser, but they could see realization dawn on Lucifer's new features. Which didn't help them, though.

"What's TTX?"

"Tetradotoxin."

"Toxin? A poison?"

"Yup. A neurotoxin that inhibits signals from nerves to muscles, thus creating paralysis. Humans tend to die from it, asphyxiating as they can't breathe when they can't move their chests. But angels don't need breath, unless to talk or keep humans from freaking out. But we do need to move if we want to work out 'mojo'. A snap of the fingers or flick of the wrist suffices, but there has to be something to direct our power. Well, if we want to do more than shake the walls a bit. Our vessel are kind of like wands in that way. So if your vessel is paralysed whenever its brain registers aggressive intention..."

"I can't kill. Not on purpose, at least. Not in this vessel."

The moment he said that, Gabriel sent a gust of wind against the circle of holy fire and while Lucifer jumped back and wasn't reached, his former, uninhibited vessel caught on fire. Holy fire. He could not retake it now.

"You don't have to kill, Luci. Michael is off your trail. It's over! Why not find peace?"

"How? While His vermin still crawl the earth!? While He remains unpunished for what He did to us?! Don't you care at all that He put us through this? That He pit his children against each other?!"

"I do! And I told Him, too."

"What?"

"You got so distracted with the whole no killing thing you forgot your own questions. How did I overpower the two greatest archangels to stop this madness? Well, look at me! I found Him and He gave me that power!"

So he dropped the trickster facade and revealed his new wings, but unlike Michael and Raphael, Lucifer reacted with blatant... gratitude? His eyes glistened with unshed tears and he mumbled in a vertigo between disbelief and hope:

"Father? You found Him? And He... He stopped it? Or gave you the power... He allowed it? He won't insist? It's over...? He... He won't make us fight... Could He...? But why tell us to... Change his mind? ...I don't understand. Gabriel, I don't understand it. He had it stop? He doesn't want it after all?"

"No, Luci. He doesn't."

He, the devil, was almost breathing heavily and the first tear fell and the humans were not sure how to handle it. What the hell was happening? Dean was as tactful as ever, of course, but Lucifer's answer hit home:

"You tell me you'd react any less if you'd just found out that your father doesn't want you to die after all."

It hit home because it brought the brothers back to their own father's order for Dean. If you can't save your brother, you have to kill him. Dean had been shocked to the core upon hearing it and so had Sam. And now they realized what the apocalypse had meant for Lucifer. His brother whom he had once loved came to kill him because their father whom he had once loved wanted him dead. The devil and hell had certainly not been God's fancied team in this war.

But Lucifer had not just love and pain for them. He was also angry. Maddened by the unfairness of it all. God creating him as he was only to punish him for it. To make him a pariah among his kin and put him in a cage for millennia. And it all made no sense! Why change His mind? Was God just fickle? Why?! Why torment them all so, only to turn around at the last minute and call it all off?!

The devl was furious once more and cursed God and them all. And even if, he probably just wanted his precious humans spared. His new favorites, these disgusting little imperfections! Insults to His creation! How could he love them more?! Lucifer screamed it at the top of his lungues and the humans in the room dearly hoped that the holy fire would hold true. But to their surprise, Gabriel did not appear affected by the outburst, only sad:

"He does?"

"What?"

"You think he loves them more? Because I know that I do. I mean they're geniuses, having invented all these great things like candy and porn. Much better than all these stuffy, piristine angels up there. But God? I don't know."

"What do you mean? He said..."

"Yup. He said so. He also said that you had to fight Michael. Now I know that _you_ don't lie. But _Him_? We both know he's done it before. So I've been thinking. A lot. And this all thing kind of reminded me of a trick a human story. They are great story tellers, by the way, having invented millions of stories if not more. And one applies here quite well. It's called 'The Matrix'."

"You don't really want to tell me a human story now, do you?"

"Just one trick: There is a chosen one, intended to save all in the end. But when he goes to the oracle, she tells him that he's not the one. Next he and his friends are attacked and they think him the chosen one and can't risk losing him to the enemy so they try to get him to safety at all costs. They are willing to sacrifice themselves for him. But he believes that he is not the chosen one because of what the oracle said, so he stops the sacrifice and risking himself he saves them all."

"Meaning?"

"Come on, Luci! Did you even listen?"

"No. Meaning?"

"Pfft. Fine then: What I'm trying to say is: What if exactly this is the plan? Not the apocalypse, never the apocalypse, but this?"

"But-"

"No, really. Think about it. God wouldn't change his mind, he knew everything that would happen. And we know that he lies. So what if the prophesy did not reveal the plan, but was part of the plan? What if he made us believe a lie in order for the real plan to come true? What if we had to believe a lie, so we would do just this and cause that which he really wanted? Hell, he can't even know if he really likes the humans or just said so to teach us a lesson! Because I wouldn't put it past him. Not anymore. Maybe he never wanted a replacement for his favorites, but an update, achieved through a lesson for which he needed humans."

"...You think? Really? That He would ...deceive us like this?"

"I have no idea. But it's possible. Humans tell their kids about the generous Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. They have no malintent, but still deceive."

"But those are humans, father wouldn't..."

"Remember Abraham? Sacrifice your son, just kidding, spare your son and sacrifice the ram? Ring any bell?"

"Yes."

"But not for a lack of love, Luci. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you were still his favorite. But no matter what, it's not the human's fault. Just look at these! Indignant game pieces like you and I. I can't expect you to like them just yet, but don't hate them. We're all sitting in the same boat together. Just try? At least for peace?"

Lucifer held Gabriel's sad gaze for a long while, but finally he lowered his eyes and sighed.

"They are despicable. Sinful."

"But Luci, sinning is such fun! Trust me, brother, we will have such fun here."

The devil smiled slightly and the fire was extinguished. The Winchesters, especially Dean, were not so sure about Gabriel's plan, especially the part where Satan was supposed to live with them. But Gabriel healed Bobby on arrival, despite their history, and that calmed his temper a bit. Well, Gabriel healed him almost on arrival. Okay, it was several bad puns and the promise to not pour any holy oil anywhere in the area later.

Once their future was secured for the moment, Lucifer met with the last horsemen to form some kind of arrangement where he let him go and swore to never bind him again as long as the horsemen, Death, swore to never try for revenge for binding him in the first place either himself or through his reapers.

After that, he called his loyal demons on earth to an abandoned warehouse and once they were all eagerly come, Gabriel wiped it off the surface of the earth. They probably didn't catch all demons on earth, like Crowley and his like-minded, but there were hunters for that. In either case, the apocalypse was now aborted by heaven and hell both. It was all finally over. And now, Gabriel joked, they only needed to worry about whether or not the devil could keep a cool head throughout the daily woes of human society.

 

It might not all have been in jest, though. Gabriel insisted that school was a vital part of social development and Lucifer hated it. He _hated_ school. His looks made him a heartthrob, but the teachers were not impressed by his arrogant attitude. Even if he did already know all the answers. His anti-authoritarian sass and rebellion made him dope, an idol for rebels, and his near infinite knowledge got him the awe of the nerds. That was actually quite a nice stroking for his ego.

But the teachers! They thought they knew so much better! And Gabriel insisted that he go to school, he even dragged him there in person, while all the other cool kids skipped classes. And that led to a lot of rebellion and ranting and stomping through the house in impotent rage. Because whenever he did destroy something, Gabriel put him under house-arrest by locking him into the reinforced bunker for a bit.

So he couldn't vaporize things as he wanted to and refused to be nice and it made for a very very loud house. Until the holidays came, his only justified reason to go out was gone and thus Lucifer sat beside Sam during his researching. Sam ignored him, of course. Nothing good ever came from talking to Lucifer. But ignoring him seemed to have an effect.

"Come on, pay attention to me! I'm bored! Booored! Boooooored!"

He ignored him, though, and so Lucifer started sneaking out to meet his friends - though he called them awed followers - from school, or often also girls, and when they put up sigils around the house to keep him in, he started pulling pranks on them, haughtily reminding them that Gabriel, The Trickster, had learned all his tricks from _him_.

Sam, Dean, Bobby and even Castiel agreed that the situation was getting out of hand and they needed another solution, but Gabriel just chuckled:

"Oh, boys, how little you know of your own kind. Really, ask any parents: All teenagers are little devils, with dirty minds and naughtier deeds. Just you wait till he discovers the internet. Or, Dad forbid, the Supernatural fanbase."

"Do NOT mention those blasted books!"

Obviously, in typical teenie tradition, Lucifer had eavesdropped on that conversation. ...And the very next day, a gut-wrenching scream tore through the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I actually looked up the hierarchy of angels to find a name for what Gabe is now. And thus I realized just how far out Supernatural is, so I pretended the third sphere was all there is and picked the highest of those.


	3. On Board of/with the Ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just tying up loose ends. This third story was only one chapter in the original version, you know?

_...And the very next day, a gut-wrenching scream tore through the house._

Gabriel halted in stirring the creamy dessert he had been working on, the finger of his other hand in his mouth for tasting slowly sliding out while his gaze shifted upwards, and Sam's eyes left that slick point of connection to jump around, looking for who was missing, who could have screamed and why. Bobby was sitting inbetween book towers, nursing a whiskey, and Castiel stood by him to correct some of the myths through his experience. Meaning: Dean and the devil were missing.

Oh God, Sam thought, what had Lucifer done to his hated brother's human counterpart?! He leapt up and made to run upstairs to save Dean from whatever the fallen archangel had done to him, but Gabriel held him and the also running Castiel back.

"If the devil has done something bad, I should go first. Just in case."

So he went up first, Castiel behind him and only then Sam, followed by Bobby, even though that one was mostly just holding him back to let the angels deal with any and all potential danger. But he was burning to know what had happened and if Dean was okay. So he urged the angels on the hallway to Dean's bedroom, where that one last had been headed to.

To his immense displeasure Sam could barely see a thing through the angels in front of him. But he could hear. Dean's labored breathing, nothing at all from Lucifer and first also just the lack of sound from Gabriel and Castiel's bated breaths. But then there came a change he had not fathomed. Gabriel gasped as he entered the room with Dean in it and a moment later burst into rigorous, cackling laughter.

Within moments he was laughing so hard he held his stomach and sank down on his knees, one eventually giving way to have him on his back on the ground, still shaking in near-hysterical laughter. It was almost more disturbing than the scream. Next Cas entered the room and his reaction was... nothing. He just looked around in curiosity.

Now that was really disturbing. What could it be that had drawn a scream from Dean, laughter from Gabriel and wide-eyed curiosity from Cas? Slowly, carefully, mentally preparing himself for anything the devil might throw at him, he followed the angels into the room. The first thing he saw was Dean, who was cowering in shock just behind the door frame, his eyes jumping around wildly.

But he was apparently unharmed, so Sam followed his gaze. And first of all, his jaw dropped. Lucifer, who was leaning against one wall, inspecting his nails whilst grinning so smugly he was practically dripping with it, had just redecorated the room so that now every wall, the ceiling and even the floor was platered with printouts of fan art. Destiel, of course. And all explicit. Like really really explicit, showing the couple naked and often wet in intimite embrace.

And it looked like all positions were represented, too. Even some that all-human couple couldn't manage, since they required wings. Some of these were really.... well, some people had certainly put a lot of thought, time and effort into their works. And Castiel seemed to acknowledge that, too. Dean had stopped hyperventilating now and was staring at Castiel like he expected the angel to freak out, too.

Well, Cassie didn't. Instead he stepped up to one wall and picked up two of the printouts and held them beside each other, looking from one to the other, while Dean's disbelief reached a new level and Sam was still caught between worrying for his brother and snickering at the comical dimensions of his fit of heterosexual panic. At least it wasn't Wincest.

But Castiel, in all his glorious not understanding of humans, actually still managed to trump his staring with his words, uttered in an entirely sincerely serious tone:

"These artists are very unprofessional. Clearly they allow for their own preferences to influence their interpretation of your physique or they would not differ so vastly. See? This one makes you flabby, indicating your frequent consumption of pie as his justification, while this one on the other hand believes you firmly packed with bulging muscles, assuming your frequent excercise from hunting as his justification. But no interpretation here appears to be accurate."

At this point, even Sam could no longer keep a straight face and Gabriel was causing tremors in the floor. He might actually pat Lucifer on the back for this. But the devil had already had his ego stroked enough, so he just muttered "Again: You learned all you tricks from me, little brother" and swaggered off to concoct something else. But they just couldn't help it. Not with those looks betwen Cas and Dean. But there was one thing that delayed outright laughter from him:

"Hey, uhm... Cas? How again do you know exactly what Dean looks like in the nude?"

Castiel looked to Sam completely oblivious to the reason of Dean's distress and answered honestly, just a moment before Dean could interject: "I saw him so when I went to answer a presumed prayer. He was-"

"DUDE! I told you to forget it ever happened!"

And with that and a beet red head Dean stormed out, while Cas now looked after him like a drenched poodle:"Dean, I said I couldn't purposefully forget something. Dean? Dean!"

But Dean wasn't answering anymore, so Cas looked between Sam and the abruptly silenced Gabriel:

"I swear I thought he was praying, I am sure that I heard him calling for me in his head. But I must have misinterpreted... I honestly didn't know about these human rules."

"Rules?"

"No praying in the shower."

And now that it was clear why Cas had thought Dean praying, what he had actually been doing and what therefore the angel must have walked in on, even Sam couldn't stop laughing out loud. Oh, he knew that his brother had a thing for the ebony-haired virgin!

But all laughter ebbed away and then Sam saw the look Gabriel had on his face now. It was pure mischief.

"What? Gaaaabe?"

"I was just thinking... Do you think he only targeted Deano because he knew that you big bro would flip?"

"I guess. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking..."

"What, Gabe, what were you thinking?!"

"You think we got some, too?"

"You mean... fan art prints?"

"Yap."

"I-I don't know? Maybe. Do we get shipped?"

"Sure. By my good self at least! So?"

"So?"

"Do you wanna check if our room get redecorated, too!"

"Oh. Oh-kay. Wait, when did it become _our_ room? Angels don't need to sleep, they don't have rooms!"

"Now I do. And I'm heading there right away. But don'tr be disappointed if there aren't any yet. We can always make out own. But with the camera. If we call it 'fans cosplaying their OTP', we can even put the pictures online and no-one will freak out! Except for your brother, of course. But he'll be busy by then."

Yeah, well. Dean was not distracted by any kind of business when Gabriel whisked Sam into the human's bedroom and dropped him on the bed, only to perch above him brimming with anticipation for a 'yes'. Sam, for all he had done with women, a werewolf and even a demon, still blushed at the unending hunger in those honey eyes.

But he said yes. And not much later, it was him who screamed through the house. Just not in shock. At least not in any way negative. Though it seemed plenty negative for Dean who paced the floor under Lucifer's malicious grinning and Castiel's trying to help and just making it worse. Bobby didn't get involved. He had decided the moment that he had heard the trickster's laughter that whatever happened upstairs was no longer his concern. For his own sanity's sake.

But as Dean's ranting got personal, against Gabriel, Lucifer's little brother, the hunter learned an important lesson: Don't raise the devil while he's sitting next to you. At first Lucifer was annoyed by the ranting, but when it got insulting towards his baby bro, he got malicious. He had to take revenge on Gabriel's behalf, it was simple the brotherly thing to do, right? And it might even do the vessel some good to finally get laid. So he snapped his fingers.

At once, really just in the second he heard th snapping, Dean stilled. The trickster and the devil were in the house. Snapping could not be a good sign. But as Dean squinted over to the fallen archangel, he found him doodling in a Bible. Totally inconspicious. So Dean hesitantly went back to pacing and ranting. But he noticed the change soon enough.

It got kind of hotter and he was getting less air and he was sweating and damn did Cas look good with his hair ruffled like that and shit he was still inspecting fan art. The angel had brought a few pages he found really 'interesting' down after the noises from next door had made him feel uncomfortable. How did Gabriel get what he wanted so easily? How could one even ask?

Well, he could thank big brother Luci. 'Cause he didn't have to ask anymore. Dean was getting increasingly bothered, so he retreated into his room again and locked the door. Lucifer waited for five more minutes for Dean to undress and snapped again. Castiel looked to him in curiosity and Bobby did not want to know, but Dean had just gotten his hands cuffed behind his back with a spell that would only dissolve in twelve hours added to the viagra in his belly from the first snap.

Now they just had to wait. Dean fought it of course. On principle. Even though he might already be staring at some of the drawings for inspiration. But rubbing it against mattress just didn't work out. Son of a bitch! How did he even know?! Dean was sure he was acting 100% straight. No chick-flick-moments, nothing girly, all just badass. But even his badass hunter resolve broke down as little Dean kept whispering 'Who cares what they think? I want some! I want it now!'.

In the end, they waited for another thirty minutes before Cas jolted.

"I think he prays to me. Brother, I'm not sure what to do... He reacted so badly last time."

"Naw, he was just shy. Go on. Answer the call. I'm sure you'll be happier for it."

Castiel listened to his brother. And there was no shrieking or anyone coming down again. Not from upsiatrs at least, to say that no-one came might not be all too true.

 

Lucifer listened for a while, bemused, and decided to tease the one target remaining to him for a bit:

"So, I suppose this leaves the two of us."

"Yeah and I 'suppose' we'll do best ignoring each other."

"Really? Don't you find this form beautifil? Are you insulting my brother's crafting skills?!"

"Oh, shut it, ya idgit! Oh... uhm... I hope you'll be aware that you're acting a bit like a brat."

"I know."

Oh, he loved their discomfort. And he was grinning all teeth already, but then the human turned to his books again, like he was going to end their banter just there, and that just wouldn't do.

"I meant it, though. I'm beautiful and bored. Also this is a teenage body and it's endlessly horny. So? You up for it?"

Lucifer had no such intentions, of course, but the look on the human's face was priceless. He had to keep it:

"What? Gabriel already said that my issues with our father makes me the perfect candidate for a daddy kink and you look the part. Kind of like a bear, fatherly..."

"Alright. I'll wash a sigil off, if you want out, but stop that nonesense right there!"

The devil had a very amusing time. And he got out to actually get laid. And when he came back, he found a postcard in the mail. From Adam and 'Michelle'. Actually, it was just from the latter, explaining that 'she' was starting to get along, but had questions. Apparently 'her' marital duties were not as 'she' had expected. And now 'she' was worried that they might be wearing 'her' vessel out. According to the postcard, 'her' vessel started leaking during 'her' duties, mainly between the legs, and its nerval systems reacted disproportionally.

Adam, 'Michelle' reported, called it normal, called it arousal and orgasm and said that everything was okay as long as it felt good. But 'Michelle' was not sure if 'she' could trust a human to know what he was talking about, so 'she' asked for Gabriel's opinion. If Lucifer knew his family at all, he knew that 'Michelle' was Michael not being able to handle lust, that sin felt good.

It was beyond gratifying to know that about his holier-than-thou big brother. It took him off the high horse and thus gave Lucifer some peace. No-one he cared about would ever call him a freak again. But Adam's words had him thinking, too. Everything was fine, as long as it just felt good. So maybe the real question was not right or wrong. Maybe it was just like or dislike. That was the human way to think.

So in the end: What did flaws matter? Sin felt good. And faith might lend hope to some in despair, but it also hurt. So maybe it might be better for those too often disappointed to just forget all about it. To skip school and delve into hedonism instead. It had worked for Gabriel.

Gabriel had run and joined the pagans who cared only for their own self-interests and their own delights. And he had led a good life. A god who killed those who deserved it, but still found Sam's heart and even father. Because there is still a line between Gabriel's justice on the humans and the devil's revenge against his father through them.

He might be the older, but maybe the devil could still learn a thing or two from the god of just deserts and assume his role, his rule in hell, as punisher of the guilty. Maybe they would see him as an angel again, then. And the guardedness of his brothers would give way to their love again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...And the angels learned to love and could return to heaven and Chuck finally revealed himself and everybody was happy.
> 
> I hope it's no too cheesy. It had to end somehow! And this all used to be just about Gabe not dying in Hammer of the Gods. Once. Anyway, did you like it?


End file.
